have you ever had the feeling that u really wanted to cry but the tears just wouldn't come out? as if all of your tears have dried up. so all you are left with is feeling really sad but having no way to let it out. or even worse: just feeling numb. to everything around you. because you no longer want to get hurt anymore, so you just numb yourself, not allowing yourself to feel anything. at all. such that even when you know you should be feeling sad, you just can't cry. you are left feeling empty. the feeling is scary. it's as if you no longer know how to feel. like you are no different from... a machine.

2006 is in a few hours. i have sort of made a New Year's resolution. but i won't put it here. =p

- da blur gal tripped and fell here @ 11:27 PM

1) brand of ur handphone?
Nokia.8250. a very old phone. haha.
.2) what would you do if you see your bf/gf hugging a boy/girl?
ask me again when i get a bf.
3) have a gf/bf?
see above qn.
4) have ur own room?
yup. only its being used to store lotsa sundries.
5) favourite pet ?
cat. if i can get one.
6) 1 thing u cant live w/o?
family and friends. basically people around me.
7) where do u live?
singapore. go figure.=p
8) what would you do if someone tells you he/she likes you?
i will be QUITE shocked. in fact i think i will be in shock for the entire day. haha.
9) how are you feeling now?
neutral.
10) where do you hangout?
at home. because my parents still don't exactly give me the freedom to go wherever i want ya?
11) what are you good at?
sleeping. haha.
12) what is it about a person you cant stand?
hypocritical nature?
13) what do you want?
health and happiness for me and people around me.
14) a word that describes you?
dao. haha.
15) what is your dream?
to always be happy.
16) day or night?
night.
17) sunset/sunrise
sunset. the colours are nicer. haha..
18) like a romantic bf/gf?
dunno.
19) what is it about the opposite gender tt attracts you?
no comment. haha.
20) are you an independent person?
in some aspects. not all.
21) do you like school?
the only thing i like about school is the people.
22) are you stubborn?
as a mule. =p
23) believe in God?
duh.
24) ur favourite sports?
badminton.
25) believe in fate?
what do u mean?
26) get pissed off easily?
no.
27) like your parents?
for the most part.
28) believe in love?
yup.
29) will u get a tattoo?
maybe.
30) will you forgive ur bf/gf if she/he cheats on u?
depends on the circumstances.
31) will you expect your bf/gf to forgive you?
for what?
32) were u on a trip recently?
no. i dun go on trips.
33) fave country?
can't say i have a favourite. bcuz i have only been to one country and that is singapore.
34) are u impatient?
not really.
35) do u organise parties often
i have never organised a party.
36) do u have good friends?
yup=)
37) do u think you are good-looking?
i am as good looking as the thing i see in the mirror. which isn't exactly good looking. haha.
38) do u care about looks?
sometimes.
39) do you quarrel with people easily.
No
40) are you forgiving?
yup. somehow i just can't get angry with someone past a day. which is quite freaky.

41) do you get hurt easily?
i try not to. but sometimes it just doesn't work.
42) do u prefer men/women with long/short hair?
no preference.
43) is ur hair colored?
No. but that may change in the future.
44) do you wear a watch?
when i remember to. =p
45) what color clothes do you like?
i m pretty much okay with anything but PINK and RED.
46) will you chose love or money?
Love. so sometime in the future i may end up a pauper. haha.
47) do you prefer sleep or eat?
sleep!!!
48) white or black?
if i have to choose i will take black.
49) pink or red?neither.
50) fav flower?
no favourites. and basically i don't exactly take much notice of them.
51) do u hate her?
who?
52) if u dun like talking to tt person what will u do?
i will try to bear with it. but if i really can't stand it i will just make an excuse and exit.

that was the longest i have ever done. and stupid internet explorer came up with some error msg and i had to redo half of it. -_-'''

subpaper!!!>.<

- da blur gal tripped and fell here @ 1:24 PM

haven't blogged for quite a long time... so i will make this a long entry =)

saturday
christmas eve. but it felt pretty much like a normal saturday. was just lazing around, watching tv, the usual stuff. then the time came for us to go for mass. the homily was good. jiamin and i were talking about the loss of meaning of christmas by the commercialisation of it. the homily [by father val] reminded us of the true meaning of christmas, and that we should always keep that in mind. anyway, after the mass we went home for dinner at abt...10+? haha... oh n i watched windstruck on channel 56. had a hard time trying not to turn my noodles more salty than it already was... >.<... good thing i didnt watch it at the cinema=p

sunday
basically one of the worst christmases i have ever celebrated. because my entire family ended up in a quarrel excluding me, because i was already in a bad mood because of something, and i was trying not to let it affect others. so i just remained quiet throughout and they started quarrelling. >.< and i ended up trying to mend things between my sis and my mum throughout the entire time we spent shopping. and when we finished, i was given the task of telling my dad that. so i called him, got a scolding, and met up with him with my mum and sis and went home for dinner.

monday
had piano lesson at 10 in the morning. and my piano teacher lives in bishan. and that's quite a distance from where i live. anyway, i came back tired, ate lunch, sat in front of the tv for about 2 hrs and got chased by my dad to study. as in for the rest of the day. needless to say, i did stay in my room, but what happened in it is another matter. haha. and i nearly got a scolding from him for getting a cup of water from the kitchen after dinner because he thought i was slacking off. like whatever.

tuesday
choir was changed to wed. so i lazed around in the morning, until mum came back to get us to bring her to look for her teaching materials. and because we dawdled, we went out 1hr after my mum came back. heh. anyway, we went to look for her stuff [FYI: she's looking for CHINESE teaching materials >.<]. after searching one entire shelf (not one row, one shelf), i started to slack off and look at the pictures in the art and craft books they had because i was too lazy to read the words. haha. and then she went to another shop and by this time, i was quite sian already. she spent about another hour in that shop and we left at around 5. after that, dad called my phone and arranged my mum to meet us for dinner at jp. pretty uneventful dinner except for something my mum did at the start of it that i won't mention here.

upon reaching home, i went to start on another one of the library books and read until about 11+, after which my mum called me to do some stuff for her. i went to ask my sis to help out, and she asked me to help her pack up her nail polish which she was using along with some wire to make a pendant. and because i didnt know she didnt cap one of the bottles properly and my sotong-ness, i spilt one of the bottles, causing her, my fingers and the table to scream blue murder [the nail polish i spilt was blue]. yup. and i ended up with blue fingers and went to do what my mum asked me to do cuz my sis said she would clear up the mess [thanks and sorry>.<]. when we finished, we got called by my dad into his room and got scolded. it would have been well deserved if not for the tiny flaw that he scolded us for something we didnt do. :I thus ends one day.

wednesday
went for choir in the morning. we sounded quite bad.>.< anyway, i came home, watched tv, attempted to do some of my homework, and promptly came out at 7 to watch the channel u show. dinner was okay except for the fact that dad kept dumping food on my plate[ as usual]. after clearing up, i continued with that book because dad went to use the com and i heard some stuff that i would never forget blasting out of the com.o_O

- da blur gal tripped and fell here @ 2:05 PM

xmas is coming and i still haven't finished buying presents for my family. argh. i am so dead. haha. oh n did i mention i haven't done ANY homework yet? lol. gonna be so dead... i haven't studied for sub paper, haven't studied for chem test, haven't done anything 'constructive'. omg i sound like my dad. i don't want school to reopen. i want another month hols!!! ahaha. looking forward to the first session of YA.=)

hoping that next year would be a better year than this. because apart from church, everything else pretty much sucked this year. i shall be optimistic and hope that next year will be a very good year because this year was sucky. ahahaha.=p

- da blur gal tripped and fell here @ 11:40 AM

"Do you like the table?" [referring to a kiddish looking plastic table]

"It's plastic."

"Your character is also very plastic."


thank you for your kind comments. it was so nice of you to grace us with the pleasure of hearing your unique and farsighted opinion in your deep, manly voice. oh, the sweet ecstasy i feel when i hear the opinion gleaned from the recesses of a blessed mind. It just stuns me so that you would be so kind to bestow on us such ethereal knowledge we otherwise would never have known.

- da blur gal tripped and fell here @ 4:39 PM

from wenhui again...=p

Q. What is your status?
single and unavailable. no time or energy for it currently.

Q : What were you doing 5 minutes ago?
watching tv. ahaha.

Q : What are your fave sports?
badminton.=)

Q : Do you cry most of the time you have problems?
no. i rarely cry.

Q : Who is your last bf/gf?
ask me that qn in 10 yrs time and the answer will still be the same.

Q : Do you had a fight with someone today?
no. not yet.

Q : What are your fave subjects?
english and chem. i like english and chem is easy. for now. heh.

Q : Who cheer you up the most in your life?
you are asking a highly optimistic person. therefore the answer is anyone and everyone. haha.

Q : Do you like to chat?
who doesn't?

Q : Last chat with?
my sis.

Q : Do you like to laugh?
i laugh at anything and everything. you think?

Q : Last testi from? What's the testi about?
wenhui. about christmas cards. gotta dig up her add.heh.

Q : Last message from? What's about?
i think it was from baona. about yihong's bdae which is today.

Q : Last fooD?
brunch.

Q : Do you have an exam?
not now. next year.

Q : Do you think pple who like to study a lot are nerds?
nope. depends.

Q : What's your opinion about long distance relationship?
rare but possible to maintain. that is if no one has a change of heart easily.

Q : About love at the first sight?
i seriously don't know how this works. how can you fall for someone you don't even know?

Q : about Real Best Friend?
existent but rare. if you wanna find one and you are the super suay kind, you need some four leaf clovers.

Q : What do you think about loving someone but he/she is not yours?
super common. just grin and bear it i guess. if the person u like is happy, u should be happy for him/her too.

Q : Did you ever like someone but he/she didnt like you?
when has anyone taken a fancy to me? =p and ya, it happened before. so kill me because i allowed it to
happen. but i didnt regret. haha.

Q : Have you ever taken a relationship with someone you didnt love?
erm... for this to happen, i wld hafta have had a relationship. ask me again about a century later.

Q : Do you ever hurt someone who loved you so much?
yup. guilty as charged.

Q : Do you like your school?
i don't wanna be sued for defamation so i shall not comment.

Q : Do you have any new bestfriend?
no. i am super dao. if i have any new friends its a miracle.

Q : Do you have something you must do right now?
yup. hwk. and studying for maths sub paper and chem test. and what am i doing? blogging. thanks for
reminding me ya?

Q : What do you think bout this?
neutral.

- da blur gal tripped and fell here @ 4:04 PM

feeling a little hurt now. sometimes the situations around me literally force me to delude myself. but sometimes, it just doesn't work anymore. i never expected this kind of thing to happen. seriously. i have no idea of how to react or anything like that. i just think that, maybe, i just simply don't belong. here, there, or anywhere. i never have and i never will. i am starting to think that the problem lies with me. and that is damn scary.

ignorance is bliss. not in this case though.

- da blur gal tripped and fell here @ 3:00 PM

math camp ending this friday. i will be glad when it's over. because the hwk is super tough and the lessons are a bit the boring. yup. i will be glad when i can laze around at home again. finally. haha. but then in abt 2 weeks time after that i will have to go back to school. and i haven't touch all my hwk, haven't studied for math subpaper and haven't studied for chemistry. i am so super dead. but somehow i still feel very happy. maybe it's due to the fact that my dad allowed me to join YA permanently. talk about miracles. this is one of the biggest i have seen yet. =)

xmas is coming!!!! X)

- da blur gal tripped and fell here @ 10:17 PM

lesson of the day: miracles can happen. if you believe.

thank You

- da blur gal tripped and fell here @ 11:14 PM

> SEVEN THINGS IN YOUR ROOM: table, cupboard, aircon, vacuum cleaner, fan, electric piano, clothes
> TOP SEVEN THINGS YOU SAY MOST:whatever lor, ok lor, bored, sian, erm, i dunnoe,no lor.
> SEVEN THINGS YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT:family, frenz, cute stuff, hp, God, internet, msn
> SEVEN OTHER THINGS:Do You:
01. Smoke? NO.
02. Send short messages? tt's wat hps r for.
03. Read the newspaper? forced to when i m free.
04.Pray? yes.
05. Study? when there's a test.
06. Like window shopping? tt's wat i always do.
07. Wish on stars? yup. i juz dun keep track of whether they come true.
Have you ever:
01. gone for a date? never have, never will.
02. travel alone? for me to travel alone, i would hafta be able to travel, which i haven't even done.
03. swam in the dark? nope.
04. gone to a party? no. life on the social front is quite dead.
05. ran away from home? right. as if.
06. felt depressed? duh. in my shoes, if you don't, u aren't human.
07. felt lonely? yupp. when you're not around. ='(
> SEVEN THINGS IN LAST 24 HOURS:
> have you...
01. Cried? no. i dun cry easily.
02. Sang? yup. tt's wat happens when u r in choir.
03. Been kissed? good question. ask me when i am 80+ n the answer will still be the same.
04. Felt stupid? duh. who ask me to be so blur.
05. Talked to an ex? for that to happen, i hafta have an ex. let me find one first.
06. Missed someone? no.
07.Hugged someone? no.nobody around to hug anyway.

- da blur gal tripped and fell here @ 11:27 PM

juz dropping in for a quick post cuz i got piano lesson later. this week so far has been quite sucky with the exception of a few surprises here and there. the bloody end of year programme is getting on my nerves n i dunnoe how i m gonna survive 7 more days of it. i spend half the time in class stretching, yawning or stoning, and the other half doing examples that the tcher gives on the spot. so ya. how nice. n THERE IS HOMEWORK!!!! ARGH!!! AND IT'S SO DAMN FREAKING HARD!!! AND IT'S A LOT EVERYDAY!!! so everyday i can't fins my hwk or dunnoe how to do it, i end up getting up even earlier ( it's almost like a sch day alrdy) and going to sch and discussing wif my frens. >.< the only thing i like? lunch. the lunch is good. as in really really really good. apparently they dun stinge on food. so much so tt in the morning i wonder wat's for lunch even when im not even hungry. heh. oh well. 7 more days to go. let's hope i juz dun die of boredom before the 7 days are up.

- da blur gal tripped and fell here @ 7:10 PM

i m quite devastated. my dad actually allowed me to go for the bbq. guess who objected. and btw, as can be seen by my absence from the bbq, objection sustained. wonderful. i can officially announce that my hols were spent at home stoning, sitting around, waiting for ppl to come online to talk, aimlessly surfing, and chatting with the only person that will talk to me at home: my sis.

- da blur gal tripped and fell here @ 10:40 PM

my sister had her prom on thursday. she went out looking like a doll. heh. cuz my mum helped her put make up. and she had a NICE time taking photos. ahahaha. anyway, she slept over at the hotel and came back yesterday. with a cough and sore throat.>.< i saw her photos juz now. she looks super nice in them and she doesnt believe me. -.-

had piano lesson yesterday. saw a cute sign :" no safety know pain know safety no pain". had to read a few times b4 i realised what it meant. heh. call me slow ya? oh n i wanna put a quote here from teen titans by raven :" evil beware. we have waffles.".lol.

supposed to go for barbeque today. lets see if my dad will change his mind and disallow me. for ONCE, he allowed me. =)

- da blur gal tripped and fell here @ 1:01 PM